the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
