I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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