Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
