Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
