i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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