Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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