I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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