'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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