Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
