So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
