I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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