Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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