I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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