I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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