Sponge bath it is.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
