tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
