so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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