We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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