ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
