Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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