I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
