best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
