So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had sex on a roof
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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