Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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