We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
