My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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