my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
