fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
