Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
