all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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