Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
