If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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