i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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