I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
