how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
