WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
