I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
