Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this beer tastes like vomit already
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
