the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
