sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
