i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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