farters have to be the big spoon...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
