Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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