oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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