Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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