I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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