At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
