dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
