So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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