I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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