I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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